I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
