You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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