weddingsv make me drug and hornr
We got so high we made milksteak
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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