I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
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