Whod you bang
someone owes me an orgasm
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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