We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We need a shit load of segways right now
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
