I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
