So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
