yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
