we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize