So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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