If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
