exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
