he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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