why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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