How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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