I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
