Please, let me fuck your mom
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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