508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
