Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
