Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
