she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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