so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
