Ketchup is God's man juice
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
