you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
