Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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