Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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