Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
