so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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