Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
