i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
