im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
