thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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