he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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