But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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