I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
