I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
