she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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