I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
