Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
