if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
