Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize