So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
