Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
