Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
