his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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