I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
