I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
