and next time when you feel me up, do it right
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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