I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
