my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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