Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
