Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
