it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
