I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
