you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
