Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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